Announcement

**doc** · 07-19-2006, 03:18 AM

OK, I think I got the thing with the goldfish, but, you kind of lost me with the bubbles.

Welcome back. There have been a lot of changes, but, remember, the site is a bit of a mess right now because we've been hacked twice so far this year, and I'm unable to fully repair it from Thailand. Besides, i've been busy fending off SMS and phone calls from a certain schizoid from Australia, lol. I'm in the process of rebuilding the site, with a brand new navigation system, and more flash video, at the moment, hopefully to be unleased to the world in September or so. We have one hell of a lot of video coming too.

**To Dai** · 07-19-2006, 08:01 AM

Cheers

Thanks for the welcome (back) Doc. Much appreciated...

I read the bubbles statement in a book about a modern take on Zen I think. Most of it was quite funny but the bubbles thing kind of caught me out as well... I assumed it merely meant that if you've let rip in the bath, you might not necessarily have to smell the consequences!?! (O_o) (May be that was because I was flatulent at the time, who knows!)

Have been catching up on the saga of the Aussie stalker... D'oh! That being said, my sifu had a similar problem about 5/6 years ago with one of his students... She came in for some Tui Na on a pulled muscle and proceeded to strip down to a thong! Things went downhill from there and she began pulling out all the "stalker" stops. It ended up so bad that it damaged my sifu's marriage to the point that 5/6 years later they have separated.

My sifu is now on the slippery slope of alcohol sponsored "closure". Very sad, as he is (or possibly was at this stage) such a great man.

Ah well, life just keeps on punting you in the balls I suppose!

Look forward to the new and improved (how can something actually be improved if it's new? Always wondered that!) russbo.

**doc** · 07-19-2006, 11:48 AM

Let me clarify something that is very, very important. I think that you all should know this, as there has been great debate over the years concerning this very issue. I've spent years studying this very phenomena, and I can decidedly claim that farts ripped under bath water still smell.

Even if you use bubble bath.

Just ask my latest Thai girlfriend.

**onesp1ng** · 07-19-2006, 12:41 PM

doc...should we contact her by phone or ??????? is this something that should tackled face to face?

**To Dai** · 07-19-2006, 02:34 PM

A colleague of mine just mentioned that you could always use one of the "scene setting" candles strewn about the bathroom (I personally think he reads his girlfriends magazines a little too much!) to subtly ignite the methane content and thus render the fart stealthy. However, on the back of a little research, I've found out that only 1/3 of the population actually emit high methane content flatus, and that this is most probably a genetic trait...

According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Chapter 17 in Gastroenterology, vol. 4, 1976)

a blue flame is indicative of the presence of methane in the flatus. Since
methane producers are an elite group (only 1/3 of the population), an exclusive
club called the Royal Order of the Blue Flame has been established that
is open only to them.

The fact that most of the smell of flatus comes from hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans renders the "burn" method non-viable for 2/3's of the population.

However, some small solace may be had from the fact that:

As long as what comes out is only fart and no poop, your bath water should not be significantly
polluted. Most of the gas just bubbles up and contaminates the air rather
than the water

**onesp1ng** · 07-19-2006, 02:48 PM

oh that makes sense cause it's like based on science....

**To Dai** · 07-19-2006, 02:59 PM

It must be true as well because it was actually printed... and the guy has "Dr." in front of his name!!!......

**doc** · 07-19-2006, 04:38 PM

I got "Dr" in front of my name. And Onesp1ng still wants to talk to the GFOTW. Talk about trust. I'm hurt.

As if you guys think I would lie about an important issue such as intestinal gas.

And, as for the burn method, I haven't studied that extensively, but I always thought that the odor of the match kind of overwhelmed the odor brought forth by intestinal bacteria. Not sure how much of it had to do with the burning of methane.

Oh, and since I'm in a very informative mood tonight, just for your information, when you light a fart, it is called a "zorch".

Bet you didn't know that.

**To Dai** · 07-19-2006, 05:20 PM

A "Zorch" eh?!? Hmmmm.... Would like to know the etymological basis of that particular expression. (Would possibly be a rather short history of the word: "Zorch" first used online on a shaolin community website by "Doc". Owner and contributer to said website, in the sentance;
"Oh, and since I'm in a very informative mood tonight, just for your information, when you light a fart, it is called a "zorch". " circa 2006.)

A quite amusing note (you may have witnessed this Doc) is when an accidental "zorching" (Do you know of this is a verb? Am I allowed to use it?) takes place in an operating theatre. At least one patient is known to have suffered from the effects of an explosion while undergoing cauterisation of a rectal polyp. An explosion from an electrical discharge caused a 6" hole in the patients large intestine!

**Steve** · 07-19-2006, 07:03 PM

Fart Lighting

Fart lighting

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Flatulence ignition, "fart lighting", "burning farts", "Blue Flaming" (also called a "Blue Blazer"), or "blue darts" is the practice of setting fire to the gasses produced by flatulence. Because of the methane and hydrogen content of such, lighting the resulting gas can result in burns or explosions. Clothing or hair may catch fire and sensitive tissues can be damaged.
Nevertheless, it has become a novelty practice primarily among young men or college students, but is discouraged for its potential for causing injury. Such experiments typically occur on camping trips and single-sex group residences such as dormitories or fraternity houses.
The flammability of bodily gases has caused serious problems in the medical operating room and also in animal slaughterhouses. At least one patient is known to have suffered from the effects of an explosion while undergoing cauterization of a rectal polyp. An electric spark ignited the patient's gasses, resulting in a six-inch (15-cm) hole in the patient's large intestine. However, this was sewn up, and the patient recovered [1].

References in popular culture

Many find a comedic value to lighting of farts. The activity is often represented in pop culture.

In the British comedy Bottom, the character Richard Richard, a 40-year-old virgin played by famous English comedian Rik Mayall, attempts to sell his soul in order to have sex with beautiful women. In order to seal his pact he eats the "sprouts of evil", sprouts left over from last Christmas cooked in curry sauce. Richard Richard also forces his friends to eat some. When the characters regain consciousness hours later, they literally fart flames. One character sets fire to the settee, while another ignites volatile alcohol and destroys the conservatory.

In the film South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, the character Kenny McCormick dies after attempting to light one of his farts (Kenny's deaths from odd causes are a running gag in the series). After lighting his fart, Kenny goes to the hospital; through a series of events they replace his heart with a baked potato and it explodes, killing him and sending him to hell. Also, in the very first episode ("Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"), Cartman shoots fire out of his anus by virtue of an alien satellite inserted in his rectum.

In UPN's sitcom Rock Me, Baby, two disc jockeys perform the practice on the air. Shortly afterwards, an entire frathouse, inspired by the broadcast, is hospitalized for rectal burning and cauterization after attempting to light their fartsâ€”resulting in guilt, heavy fines for the station, and public backlash.

A fantasy sequence in Dumb and Dumber depicts the lead character, played by Jim Carrey, lighting a fart as a party trick in polite company. These unusual circumstances for the trick are intentionally jarring; the character's fantasy is established as bizarre and unrealistic.

In the internet show Angry Kid he is farting on his sister. His sister then farted stronger, on him. He then attempted to bring his fart on fire but it only blew out.

In the Beavis and Butt-head episode "Butt FlambÃ©", the duo visit an emergency room after Beavis severely burns himself by lighting a fart.

In the film Beavis and Butt-head Do America the pair encounter their father(s) in the desert. Over the encounter, the elder man resembling Butt-head offers to show something really cool, then farts into the campfire with atomic results.

The Flaming Gerbil Legend, supposedly reported by a radio show when read from a newspaper article.

The movie Caveman starring Ringo Starr and Shelley Long contains an extended sequence of lit farts.

British comedienne Victoria Wood sang a humorous song that included the words:
I wanted love poems but you couldn't write them,
My ear lobes nibbled but you wouldn't bite them.
You'd only fart and then attempt to light them.
It would never have worked.

An early scene in Werner Herzog's film Stroszek depicts the cellmate of main character Bruno S. offering a lit fart as a parting gift, as Bruno is about to be released from prison. The man resembled Hoss Cartwright from "Bonanza", complete with hat, and a Bonanza poster hung above his bunk.

A 'heart-warming' family scene was presented by Ingmar Bergman in Fanny and Alexander, as part of Christmas activity.

In the movie "Tuner's of Toledo" Hazard lights Kyle's fart in a scene after a race between their Toyota Supra and Nissan Skyline.

In Family Guy Vewer mail #2, Chris Griffin received the powers of Pyrokinesis, and lit Peter Griffin's fart, creating a rather large flame.

In another Family Guy episode, the Big Bang was God lighting a fart.

In the movie Dennis the Menace (1993) Dennis was a captive of small time crook Switchblade Sam who in his stupidity, allowed himself to be tied up by Dennis. The key (lost in the tin of baked beans) was to be found by feeding them to Switchblade Sam who was sitting by the fire. Hours later, the beans had their desired effect with flames licking his ankles.

**Steve** · 07-19-2006, 07:08 PM

Zorch

zorch

/zorch/ 1. [TMRC] To attack with an inverse heat sink.
2. [TMRC] To travel with velocity approaching lightspeed.
3. [MIT] To propel something very quickly. "The new comm
software is very fast; it really zorches files through the
network."
4. [MIT] Influence. Brownie points. Good karma. The
intangible and fuzzy currency in which favours are measured.
"I'd rather not ask him for that just yet; I think I've used
up my quota of zorch with him for the week."
5. [MIT] Energy, drive, or ability. "I think I'll punt that
change for now; I've been up for 30 hours and I've run out of
zorch."
6. [MIT] To flunk an exam or course.
7. Computing power.

**Steve** · 07-19-2006, 07:24 PM

Why did I waste time looking this up? But not as much time wasted making this site...
http://members.tripod.com/~DUFLS/main.htm
Durham University Fart Lighting Society Homepage!

**doc** · 07-20-2006, 02:55 AM

Well.

Steve's bored.

Why don't you do some more BL photoshop wonders...

**Steve** · 07-20-2006, 05:25 AM

Shh. I think she is gone.

Announcement

Hi again everyone (that remembers me)

Hi again everyone (that remembers me)

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