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  • News Item: Killer Biscuits

    KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual headline)

    Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

    One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay and Lisa replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head.

    When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

    Needless to say, Lisa is blonde...
    Not that there's anything wrong with that!

  • #2
    christ this so funny....but where did you find this? i just want to confirm it because it sounds that outrageous
    -Jesse Pasleytm
    "How do I know? Because my sensei told me!"

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    • #3
      Lisa, hmmmm. Sounds like someone I've gone out with in the past...
      Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

      "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

      (more comments in my User Profile)
      russbo.com


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      • #4
        This is fake..

        I don't believe this story one bit. And I think that Doc will back me up that I know ... Blondes don't have a brain.
        I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
        "Life can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade."
        "I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle."
        "Whatever guy said that money don't buy you pleasure didn't know where to go shopping"

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        • #5
          lol

          lol
          "did you ask me to consider dick with you??" blooming tianshi lotus

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          • #6
            Only the blondes that fall in love with you Steve, lol. (I can just imagine your last one holding some Pillsbury Dough Boy guts on the back of her head...)
            Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

            "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

            (more comments in my User Profile)
            russbo.com


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            • #7
              lmao... damn thats funny...
              Yeah, well thats blonde for you.. doesn't even know that she doesn't have brains to hold in...lol
              practice wu de

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