Religious and social life

[Asger]

To speak the truth zach, I have no clue if it's a good or bad way to handle life.... No Idea

[zachsan]

that's a bad thing, asger?

[Asger]

LOL
You are so right Doc. But it creates problems... because the more you ignore girls and their sexuality the more they want you... in most cases anyway i should think!

It's kind of hard to resist the girls and their overtures. When that happens I like to picture myself wisely and joyfully laughing like a Buddha would

[doc]

Letting go. Works best when dealing with women.

Accept your cravings and desire, don't suppress it. Never cling to women. Treat them as if you don't always have to have them. Throw the bad ones away and keep the good ones.

Great concept FH. I just knew this Buddhism stuff had practicality.

[Fa Hui]

BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU READ THE SUTRAS (SUTTAS)!!! I could not stress this enough because we may read too much into a sutra that has a meaning that is very practical but we are not ready for it and see it as something mystical or way out there.

One thing I find is that it is good to learn how to let go. You can be yourself, but you don't have to firmly grasp onto it, you just use and then when it changes you let it go.

Desire and craving are very interesting things. At first I tried to supress it, I tried as much as possible, but it didn't work. Then one day, or a period of days, I realized that I should just accept desire and craving as very natural things within me. When I did this, I soon became less affected by it, when it would come up, I would do my best to see it as it is and let it be.

Letting Go is a very interesting thing, because it doesn't involve throwing things away. Say if I have a clock that works well, do I need to throw away the clock? No, it's a good clock, why should get rid of it? However, I don't have to cling to it, it's not something that ALWAYS has to be with me. That is letting go.

peace

[doc]

In any case, I read in the buddhist scriptures of this eternal emptiness. In order to achieve it, I have to rid myself of my ego and thereby, my personality.

You misinterpret ego and personality.

You can give up your ego without giving up your personality. I suggest that you investigate the true definition and meaning of the term "ego". And while you're at it, look up "humility".

That's what you're striving for.

[zachsan]

well, in my very non-buddhist point of view, personality is made up anyway. what's real is how you carry yourself and the ways you respond to people. sometimes, there's a pattern that other people recognize in the way you do these things, and those people call that your "personality". but it's just a set of tendencies.

for instance, i often put off-topic ramblings on these threads, because i'm at work and i'm bored. you notice a pattern, you call that my "personality". when i'm not at work, and i'm at home, with my friends, i'll often get very drunk and yell and play my drums until the neighbors complain. my friends call this my "personality". when i'm with my girlfriend, i have a lot of sex. she calls this my "personality". (she likes to keep things simple.)

i guess my point is, the concept of personality is important if you're an actor looking to portray someone, or a friend trying to describe another friend to a potential blind date, but it's not something to be taken so seriously by the individual himself. do what you do, and let other people decide what you are to them.

[Asger]

I felt an urge to express some of my doubts and complexities regarding my study of Buddhism.
I like to think that i study buddhism in order to understand myself and understand the universe. But one thing I know is that you have to be honest with yourself, so I am wondering if I really am studying buddhism because I feel that I lack social skills. Well, I do lack them, but then so many do, and perhaps my view on my own social skills are erroneous because i still haven't reached the state of no desire, perception or self.

In any case, I read in the buddhist scriptures of this eternal emptiness. In order to achieve it, I have to rid myself of my ego and thereby, my personality. Personality is pretty much the foundation of being good in social skills.
On occation, I see monks laughing, smiling, joking, putting forth an eminent and joyful PERSONALITY.

I have heard, that in buddhism you seek the "golden middleway" while in this life. Does this mean that all the sutras are extremities which must be regarded with a certain distance and cognizance in order to find the way that lies between the nothingness and the entities created by dependant co-arising?

Having reached nirvana certainly includes to have left personality and all things associated long behind.
Does this mean that if you want to reach it, you must isolate yourself from all beings in order to prevent facing situations where personality is required?

Or is there a way to sort of "make up" a personality when it is needed, a sort of personality that you only present and can rid yourself of at anytime?

I assume that I am going through the painful time of the Great Doubt. I am still lured by the Buddhas many expedient means though.