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Is Hell exothermic or endothermic??

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  • Is Hell exothermic or endothermic??

    An absolute classic that I first saw many years ago. It floats around the net, and I thought it best to archive it here for other's enjoyment.

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my GOD."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
    Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

    "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

    (more comments in my User Profile)
    russbo.com



  • #2
    I got nothing ! That's great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "Winners turn to losers, losers are forgotten..." - A Tribe Called Quest

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    • #3
      Forum User Doc,

      Since you are asking questions about hell I suppose you can define it,can't you ?

      Comment


      • #4
        This is my whole point about Librarian... he thinks he's competent in English!



        Imagine if his comprehension of the written word is a poor as this example, and he's translating from one non-mother tongue language into another.

        Sounds a complete headache to me.

        Chicken

        Comment


        • #5
          I think he's just trying to participate. No problem with that.

          And yes, I can describe hell. Being tied up in a bedroom with Blooming Lotus. With a red rubber ball duct taped into your mouth. Or, even into hers.

          Not that I've experienced that personally now, mind you.
          Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

          "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

          (more comments in my User Profile)
          russbo.com


          Comment


          • #6
            THat post was meant to make you smile, laugh, not question the poster if they can "define hell".

            What's with you people. I would hate to live my life not being able to smile and laugh at a joke, but that's just me.
            "Winners turn to losers, losers are forgotten..." - A Tribe Called Quest

            Comment


            • #7
              Well, maybe he does. lol

              I love how he addresses everyone as "User", though. It seems so automated.
              Becoming what I've dreamed about.

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