I felt an urge to express some of my doubts and complexities regarding my study of Buddhism.
I like to think that i study buddhism in order to understand myself and understand the universe. But one thing I know is that you have to be honest with yourself, so I am wondering if I really am studying buddhism because I feel that I lack social skills. Well, I do lack them, but then so many do, and perhaps my view on my own social skills are erroneous because i still haven't reached the state of no desire, perception or self.
In any case, I read in the buddhist scriptures of this eternal emptiness. In order to achieve it, I have to rid myself of my ego and thereby, my personality. Personality is pretty much the foundation of being good in social skills.
On occation, I see monks laughing, smiling, joking, putting forth an eminent and joyful PERSONALITY.
I have heard, that in buddhism you seek the "golden middleway" while in this life. Does this mean that all the sutras are extremities which must be regarded with a certain distance and cognizance in order to find the way that lies between the nothingness and the entities created by dependant co-arising?
Having reached nirvana certainly includes to have left personality and all things associated long behind.
Does this mean that if you want to reach it, you must isolate yourself from all beings in order to prevent facing situations where personality is required?
Or is there a way to sort of "make up" a personality when it is needed, a sort of personality that you only present and can rid yourself of at anytime?
I assume that I am going through the painful time of the Great Doubt. I am still lured by the Buddhas many expedient means though.
I like to think that i study buddhism in order to understand myself and understand the universe. But one thing I know is that you have to be honest with yourself, so I am wondering if I really am studying buddhism because I feel that I lack social skills. Well, I do lack them, but then so many do, and perhaps my view on my own social skills are erroneous because i still haven't reached the state of no desire, perception or self.
In any case, I read in the buddhist scriptures of this eternal emptiness. In order to achieve it, I have to rid myself of my ego and thereby, my personality. Personality is pretty much the foundation of being good in social skills.
On occation, I see monks laughing, smiling, joking, putting forth an eminent and joyful PERSONALITY.
I have heard, that in buddhism you seek the "golden middleway" while in this life. Does this mean that all the sutras are extremities which must be regarded with a certain distance and cognizance in order to find the way that lies between the nothingness and the entities created by dependant co-arising?
Having reached nirvana certainly includes to have left personality and all things associated long behind.
Does this mean that if you want to reach it, you must isolate yourself from all beings in order to prevent facing situations where personality is required?
Or is there a way to sort of "make up" a personality when it is needed, a sort of personality that you only present and can rid yourself of at anytime?
I assume that I am going through the painful time of the Great Doubt. I am still lured by the Buddhas many expedient means though.
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