Shaolin forms new bonds with powerful Mother Russia

Thought to be creative new avenue to "Take over the world"

Officials at Henan's Shaolin Temple both deny and do not confirm the latest rumors, that famed Shaolin officials have embarked on a unique new ploy to expand their sphere of political influence throughout the world, this time, concentrating their efforts on the former conglomerate of the USSR.

"Japan, Hong Kong, the US, Europe, ah, we got all of that down. We are the shit in those countries".

Russia has been difficult for Shaolin to impress over the years. All efforts to politically integrate into the country's powerbase, through the use of the so-called "Orange Wave" maneuver, has been for nought.

The "Orange Wave" maneuver, as it is commonly called in various web sites that are dedicated to Shaolin Temple politics, including the famed which originates out of America, consists of Shaolin Temple's worldwide presentations of its so-called performance monks, to do tricks and other neat looking circus act like things, in an effort to woo the inhabitants of those countries into thinking that Shaolin is the "birthplace of modern martial arts". Sending "martial arts masters" to places like New York, Houston, France, Italy, etc, and getting locals to undergo the "disciple transformation", is only the first step towards that country's domination. (Russell, widely hated originator and webmaster of, could not be found for comment).

"First, we make disciples. Then, we make masters. Then, we take over country; that is how they think." Shi Wan Hung, famed Shaolin grandmaster, and true abbot of Shaolin Temple, escaped to Austria many years ago, only to realize the evil that Shaolin ultimately presents to the world.

Shaolin's influencial pandemic spread has infiltrated various countries like a cancer, though, the former republics that currently make up Russia have been a problem.

Shi De Wang stated, "We get them, one way or other, we get them".