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  • TROLLS

    From my time on the internet, i have gathered some "data" on different types of forum "trolls" i have encountered.

    "Troll" Def: A person "Online" who peruses various forums sometimes stalking like a little psycho loser, waiting to piss people off, ruin their day, just generally spread their retardom like a disease.

    The "Oedipus Troll" - Watch out, this person is better then you in every way, and they want you to know. They will go through great effort to make sure the whole forum understands that they are BETTER SMARTER and COOLER THEN YOU!!! They are like evil little spoiled children... Therefore they must have evil parents...Watch out for...The "Oedipus Troll"


    The "Gangsta Troll" - Uh oh, put up your verbal shields, here it comes. These people think they are the masters of intimidation, and the known universe. Be careful not to reply to these people, even with helpful or sincere advice, for you will be prone to becoming "Pimped" "Bitch Slapped" or "Turned into a little trick..." For no reason whatsoever, just because "WE OWN THIS MUTHA****A" But dont worry, these people are incredibly computer illiterate, and are usually scared of computers and have nightmares about them.

    The "Nerd Troll" -"Warning Danger" These are some of the most dangerous trolls, because they are nerds, and they have no lives whatsoever. The closest they get to a girlfriend is a japanese hentai dating sim. Some are pasty middle aged and older abominations that shouldnt pass for human. Others are nerd larvae, little snot nosed kids who get aroused from hacking and stalking people. Well then again, some of the middle aged category can fit in around there... Beware the Nerd Troll, they will actually devote a lot of time to download hacker programs, or even take weeks at a time to try to hack into your pc and **** your shit up. Talk about a loser with too much time on their hands... Its one thing to be a smart dude, which i totally respect. Its another thing to be a "Nerd Troll".

    The "CooCooForCoCoAPuFFs Troll" - These guys are just crazy... They pop up now and then, you can tell who they are. Just dont say anything, or... Join in the massive "Stoning" commenced by other people against the crazy dude. It can be fun! Sometimes sites even tolerate them to make things a little more exciting *coughrussbo.cough*. What would the internet be without the "CooCooForCoCoAPuFFs Troll"...

    The "Disrespectful Little Asshole" Troll

    You know this one. The one who tells you to "Fly Over" to come and fight them. And if you arent willing to drop everything in your life, pay 200+ for a round trip plane ticket, plus another 200+ for a hotel, all of a sudden you are the biggest bitch on earth. You gotta love these guys because they just make your boring internet life soo exciting... You wish you had the ability to reach through the computer screen and just kick their ass. Not kill them, not hurt them, just kick their ass, you know what i mean? A decent ass whoopin, thats all, nothing serious, im not threatening anyone or saying that i am going to, but i sure would enjoy it if i did... Need i say more? One of these days The "Disrespectful Little Asshole" Troll will get his...


    The "insert martial art here Master/Teacher Troll"

    Gotta love these people, mostly guys, some of them are real, in the realm of real, you can find some good women too, i have seen a few women boxers, and fighters who were good trainers, Anyway, with that being said... Most if not all, can give you some "kickass" information. Unfortunately... Most of them are pretty real, as in "Real Fake"!!! Seriously, I wouldnt doubt it if these guys were ex convicts or something, or just retards like the people you see on you tube, i.e. Pasha lol etc. As a martial artist, i sit back and just listen to these people, and wonder why no one else notices how stupid and fake they are. It is something that doesnt really bother people, but I think it should. And it just strikes a nerve with me... I really do despise The "insert martial art here Master/Teacher Troll".

    The "Mongerator Troll" - Somehow these sick individuals are placed in charge (ring a bell?) and these people are just like me and you, most of the time, worse. I met one who could channel extraterrestrials for horoscope advice, no seriously. I did. And yet another who sided with pedophiles... Its a sad situation. There is no hope. You can go ahead and cry now. The evil ruiner... The "Mongerator Troll" GODDAMN THEM! GODDAMN THEM ALL!!!

    The "Funny Troll" - These people are real pieces of work. They are actually funny, so leave them be. They usually act like lame troll repellant. Although sometimes, they can attract nerd trolls or super lame trolls. (which i will describe next) Rare and obscured...The "Funny Troll".

    The super lame troll, these guys dont even get quotations, they are just lame. We have a few here, one is known as fu jow pie, the guy who can explode your organs with a palmstrike. He can also prove that ghandi was a racist bigot. (he went to school for it!)

    the super lame troll is just lame, plain and simple. They were just born that way. And i pity them all. Yes, even you maestro.

    And this is their poison. They manage to get "Pity" from other members, this is why the "Superlame Troll" exists.

    - End of compendium
    Last edited by master splinter; 06-30-2009, 02:56 PM.
    "Life is a run. In attack we run, in defense we run. When you can no longer run, time to die" - Shichiroji "Seven samurai"
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