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  • What is the key to martial arts? (Current issue, moved from forum archive)

    Active discussion copied from Discussion Archive...

    I have been in karate for about 5 years. The thing is, every time I get to sparring, i get afraid i'll lose and look terrible to even a new person to the class. I'm always unsure of myself, and to make it worse, when I AM sparring, i barely hit people as something in me is afraid to make contact with the opponent. HAs anyone ever had these cowardly syndroms? Are there any exercises to help me be more sure of myself, to have greater speed, power, and mabye certainty. I know this may be an odd question, but this is the best way i can word it.
    jon




    jon
    >I have been in karate for about 5 years. The thing is, every time I get to sparring, i
    >get afraid i'll lose and look terrible to even a new person to the class.

    Repeat after me - "Who cares what anybody thinks."

    The dojo is where you WANT to make mistakes. Someone is there to give you advice and you don't die as a result of your mistake. Compare this to screwing up when you get jumped walking your grandmother to church.

    >I'm always unsure of myself,

    Why? 5 years is a good amount of time. What's wrong?

    >and to make it worse, when I AM sparring, i barely hit
    >people as something in me is afraid to make contact with the opponent. HAs anyone ever
    >had these cowardly syndroms?

    There is nothing cowardly about this. You are showing concern for your training partner's safety. This is a good thing.

    How much contact do you think you should make?

    >Are there any exercises to help me be more sure of myself, to have greater speed, power,
    >and mabye certainty. I know this may be an odd question, but this is the best way i can
    >word it.

    Speed - lots and lots and lots of reps while keeping your body relaxed. By relaxed I mean just using enough muscular tension to keep your legs from collapsing and your arms from falling down.

    Power - For muscular power lift weights, do calisthenics. Want strong legs, run and do lots of reps of kata. Work your abs. I've started swimming in the last 3 months, I'm not sure what it does muscular strength wise yet.

    - For strong techniques, get a heavy bag and hit it, alot. But you want to do the technique as fast as possible. From speed comes power, at least in the techniques. Also, make sure your form is correct. I believe the techniques have evolved that done with correct form they will maximize the amount of power you can generate.

    Sure of yourself and certainty. We can address this after you tell me what you're afraid of.

    Hang in there, lots of people have been thru what you're going thru.

    Mark




    I'd like to be a little less direct. Five years is a long time but it could be that your just not really into that aspect of Karate. Do you want to hit someone? Maybe you don't care for it. Maybe there are other reasons that lead you to the practice of Karate. So you might want to look at that a bit. See if after you do the fear amd anxiety doesn't go down a bit, too. I think it's just a matter of what YOU are interested in and what contributes to your own happiness. Focus on one part, then focus on another. The Arts are mutidementional in this respect. Let people know what's important about Karate to you. I mean why do you go...to Karate? Do you fight in the streets everyday? These days?

    If it's great fighting prowess your after, we all can't obtain it. Do you feel like you can defend your self? Are you able to apply what your learning? Do you practice often and aim to do your best? Do you feel your improving? Well, there's some thoughts. And if the answers are no, than you might want to talk to your teacher or seek martial guidance elseware. On the other hand, if you feel the answers are yes, than perhaps enjoy yourself and try to look at how you are growing day to day. Where do you think it comes from? Bet you know?!

    me (hey, lip...first post in a while dude:-))

    "and to make it worse, when I AM sparring, i barely hit
    people as something in me is afraid to make contact with the opponent. HAs anyone ever
    had these cowardly syndroms?"

    'There is nothing cowardly about this. You are showing concern for your training partner's safety. This is a good thing.'

    Absolutely right.

    I sorta had the same problem. In the limited sparring that I've done, I never really felt comfortable hitting or blocking the opponent any more than a tap, especially when the opponent was showing a little pain after repetitive contact. But when I was on the receiving end they brought it full on, and I realised that although you may be putting another in discomfort or pain, ultimately they would prefer sparring properly with the pain/discomfort that entails over not sparring properly. Yeah, you may be hurting the guy a little, but that's really what they're there for, if they didn't like it they wouldn't be doing it. A good Shifu would need this characteristic in pushing their students - one has to battle against their natural compassion and do what they think is best for them and others. As Me says, if you're not interested in the fighting aspect then fine, but if you are, then it's something you have to work on.

    I think Hugh once mentioned something about 'killer chi' - either you have it or you don't. I know what he means, and though unfortunately I've been in some fights, giving someone a good crack in the face never came easy; it was usually the result of desperation - whereas I know plenty of people who have no problem going straight for the face over the most trivial things. While this is also a reflection of how well one controls oneself, on a basic level these guys have more natural 'killer chi' then me. In my opinion, it's something that can be built - at times it is necessary, defending oneself, for example. If you simply don't have the guts or the heart to hit someone, you're in trouble.

    If you're interested in competitive sport fighting, then it is something you have to work on - the killer chi - i.e. conditioning yourself to actually be able to punch the guy. This should of course not be confused with aggressiveness or a tendency to fight though. It also goes the other way; taking hits. It's something you have to think about, but hey, when you get down to it, it's just a little pain. Ninety percent of the problems in sparring - as well as in life itself - is the fear that you're gonna be hit (or whatever). Once you come to terms with this, you can concentrate on the fight itself. You're just gonna have to sit down and think about what the pain of being hit really means to you - although there are different levels to this; sparring and real fights are worlds apart. Getting over the fear of being hurt is a hard and important step in sparring.


    As for losing face, forget it. One can never progress very far if you are too concerned with losing face.

    'Ask and be a fool for a minute - don't ask and be ignorant for a lifetime.'

    In martial arts it is generally extremely apparent how good some guy is - unless he's disguising his skills on purpose - I think it's an important aspect; one that teaches humility. That is one reason why I'm so happy with my school - everyone has complete respect for eachother, be it a newbie or a skilful guy and everyone's always willing to lend a hand.

    As for being sure of yourself, never compare yourself to anyone else. It's amazing, there are two opposite ends of the spectrum in comparing yourself to others in gong fu. There are always people worse then you, always people much worse then you, and always people a hell of alot better then you. None of this actually changes how good you really are. So if this lack of confidence stems from feeling that you're not as good as X Y Z; I find this to be an unhealthy practice. Work on being the best you can be.

    Weightlifting for speed should be done with high reps as opposed to slower, longer, deeper reps.

    Mark, what are calisthenics? High rep exercises?


    Hey G, hope you had a nice trip. Nice to see ya again.


    Happy Chinese New Year everyone,


    Peace
    Lipster001




    Don't become confused between cowardice and compassion.
    Lipster001




    I'm just a more calm person I suppose. IS there any way to release controlled aggresion? I really want to do well and attack someone hard, but, mabye it's the way I've been raised, it's hard for me to hit someone hard. Is there ever a point when you're very sure of yourself, that you could defend yourself ultimatly? About building speed and power, does practicing horse stance and kicks increase endurance? I ask this because lately I've been getting tired easily when working out. You guys are probably thinking "THis guy is messed up!," well, i'm just asking all the questions i've had stored for years.
    jon




    Dude, no one thinks you're messed up. You gotta be more positive man.

    "I really want to do well and attack someone hard, but, maybe it's the way I've been raised, it's hard for me to hit someone hard."

    I know exactly what you mean. I guess it does boil down to the fact that you have to build your 'controlled aggression', if you naturally shy away from it. All controlled, though. I still don't know if I could smack someone I know (e.g. sparring partner) real hard in the face, even if he asked me to.


    "IS there a way to release controlled aggression?"

    Lol, I got no aggression to take out so I'm not speaking from experience here, but to my mind, I think martial arts is great for this if one is disciplined.


    "About building speed and power, does practising horse stance and kicks increase endurance? I ask this because lately I've been getting tired easily when working out."

    God knows there're enough benefits to the horse stance, practice it for whatever you're doing. And I would imagine any aerobic exercise would increase endurance. Sleep and diet may have something to do with being tired; any number of things.

    Peace
    Lipster001




    Thanks for clearin a few things up. IS there any mindset you can can recommend to be more sure of myself? I'm of course unsure of myself 99% of the time. How did you guys become so confident?
    jon

    Copied by doc
    Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

    "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

    (more comments in my User Profile)
    russbo.com



  • #2
    ' Achieving happiness is largely the decision to do so'.

    I would imagine this to be the same for confidence. I would recommend that you try and develop a thirst for knowledge; everything about life, everything in life. With this should come confidence as you begin to decide for yourself what life is about and what your place in it is. You will realise what you are worth. Get to know yourself, acknowledge your merits - don't look at yourself through other people’s eyes. Concentrate on your good characteristics rather than your bad ones [although that doesn't mean you should ignore your bad tendencies, always try to develop that which needs improving.] Confidence is knowing who and what you are and what you are capable of without relying on others to validate this knowledge. People who are ****y and arrogant either feel that everyone else always has to know what they think of themselves, or they simply give the impression they are something which in truth they generally aren't.


    That is why if you truly know yourself, you won't have the need to validate what you believe to be right through others opinions, as it won't actually change a thing. If you have an opinion about something, don't change your mind as soon as someone says the opposite just because he said it. Don't confuse this with keeping an open mind, though. If what he says makes sense to you, then great. But know the difference between the two.

    Then again, there are different types of confidence. I know plenty of ****y, smooth talking guys who'd shit themselves if they were thrown into a ring. And fighters who are perfectly confident of their physical abilities but become pretty submissive when hassled or confronted by someone with significantly greater intellectual capabilities. As Mark said before, it's easier to give advice if you actually explain what you're not confident about.

    Peace

    David

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    • #3
      Hey, I didn't blank out c-cky. Goddamit, you can't say coc'y here...

      Comment


      • #4
        We gonna have to give up all the x-rated shit now, Doc?

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        • #5
          I shall remove "****" from the banned word list. Just so that you can say "****y"

          lol...
          Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

          "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

          (more comments in my User Profile)
          russbo.com


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          • #6
            Confidence. What a topic.

            From my experience, as an old worn out guy who's seen just far too much of everything it seems, the ones who try to show the most confidence, are the ones who seem to have the least of it. You can tell when someone is truly confident, as it doesn't really show in the attitude that they have; in fact, it shows in the lack of attitude that someone has. Also, how one presents himself, and how one "walks", telegraphs one hell of a lot. It's all in how you carry yourself.

            But developing it is something that just comes with time. Training helps, the more one trains in the martial arts, and the more experienced one gets, the more "confidence" one starts to develop. And, ironically, in some ways, the less "confidence" one develops. For, at least martial arts wise, the ones who truly have an understanding of their respective art, eventually discover that there's always so much more to learn. And, more important, that there's always someone else out there who knows far more than you. Thus, the increase in confidence that one sees in martial artists, in my opinion, tends to be a false one. The martial artists that think they're the greatest, and do the most strutting, in my opinion, have oh so much more to learn.

            True confidence comes with time and experience. It's all a learning curve, it's a growing process, and it's a process that always continues, but only if you keep your mind open to the fact that there's always more to learn. Personally, I wouldn't waste too much energy worrying about it. You'll get there.

            doc
            Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

            "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

            (more comments in my User Profile)
            russbo.com


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            • #7
              Important announcement!
              Experienced Community organizer. Yeah, let's choose him to run the free world. It will be historic. What could possibly go wrong...

              "You're just a jaded cynical mother****er...." Jeffpeg

              (more comments in my User Profile)
              russbo.com


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              • #8

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                • #9
                  Lipster

                  Sorry for the late reply - I've had all kinds of problems getting registered.

                  Calisthenics are exercises like push ups, sit up, jumping jacks etc

                  Mark
                  Karate/Jujutsu at Akron Shaw JCC

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                  • #10
                    I see. Thanks

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      jon

                      I hope you are still reading - I've tried 4 times to post this and each time it disappeared.

                      5th times a charm

                      you wrote:

                      >IS there any way to release controlled aggresion?

                      Any high intensity activity you perform agressively. Hitting the bag or focus mitts and kata are the ones I use.

                      >I really want to do well and attack someone hard, but, mabye it's the way I've been raised, it's hard for me to
                      >hit someone hard.


                      I don't understand why you equate sparring well with attacking hard with smacking someone. You can attack with speed and intensity and still control your strikes. If this wasn't possible, me and the gang at the dojo would be much uglier or dead.

                      You'll know if your partner is one of those people that needs contact to know the technique was "good." Let him make the call, you can respond as you wish.


                      >Is there ever a point when you're very sure of yourself, that you could defend yourself ultimatly?

                      What do you mean by "ultimately" ? Maiming? Killing?

                      >About building speed and power, does practicing horse stance and kicks increase endurance? I ask this
                      >because lately I've been getting tired easily when working out.

                      Anything that makes you breathe hard and want to stop is good for endurance. Running is the most efficient means I've found. But I also use high reps of basics, combinations and/or kata.

                      >IS there any mindset you can can recommend to be more sure of myself?

                      Lose your fear of failure. Hold yourself to a high standard but realize nobody is perfect and everone screws up so its no big deal.

                      >I'm of course unsure of myself 99% of the time.

                      Its troubling that you seem to accept this as normal. Do you? Why?

                      >How did you guys become so confident?

                      It developed and increased over the years. Heaven knows I wasn't born like this.

                      Mark
                      Karate/Jujutsu at Akron Shaw JCC

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                      • #12
                        Doc-don't feel bad about not hitting your opponent hard. Unless you have a career in the UFC, you don't ever need to. Not wanting to hurt your friends and other Karate-Ka is a very positive instinct. Modern Karate is based on Gichin Funakoshi's edicts of non-violence (Karate No Sante Nashi - There Is No First Attack in Karate). Funakoshi witnessed some students free style sparring in one of his satallite dojos, turned and walked out and never returned. Sparring is fun, and it will help in training by allowing you to try out some of your sensei's lessons, but kata is the true teacher, and when practicing kata, how often do you hit anybody? Keep your chin up, negative emotions like self-pitty will cause you to miss the beauty of your art.

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                        • #13
                          Well, I've trained 11 years in karate, since I was six, and even back then we weren't really into too much control... we all got the occasional bloody nose or black eye, and I kicked a guy in the nuts once, but no-one ever felt bad about it... in fact, it would somehow bring all of us closer together.

                          Everybody goes on about how karate is seen as a "low" martial art because of its almost total lack of focus on internal cultivation (and this is why I am now turning to Chinese martial arts)... but I say "almost", because I have found that there is one aspect of the training, outside of kata drills, kumite and so forth, which I have found essential in my own spiritual cultivation... sparring.

                          Now, of course, sensei puts a high emphasis on control in sparring sessions, and with good reason- none of us have ever suffered anything as extreme as a broken or dislocated bone, or anything like that- but the relevance to internal cultivation is this- how well can you know yourself unless you are capable of testing your capabilities out in comparison with someone else?

                          Fortunately for us, we have a very small group in the dojo now- about six of us- and we all know each other pretty well, and develop relationships based on sparring- there's one guy who I always have really good fights with, we're exrtemely evenly matched, and we always look forward to our next opportunity to spar together, but there are also those like "jon", who are afraid of sparring and find it difficult to "commit themselves to the punch". Some may see this as an admirable, peaceful quality in them, but the fact remains that one of the principal reasons for martial training is self-defence... and if you're scared of hitting someone, how will you ever defend yourself from anything? After all, the basic reason men are why we are is because we are built for fighting, in order to protect what's ours. There's nothing wrong with it, it's a fact of nature, an integral part of the contrast between yin / yang in the genders, and if it was any other way, we would be going against the tao, the way of things.

                          So the people who have problems with conviction and self-confidence in this way, we help out as best we can. If someone has difficulty, we take it easy on them, start off by just defending ourselves and letting them attack, helping them build confidence and showing them that, yeah, it does hurt someone a bit when you punch them, but that's fine, bruises fade and you come out a stronger person (psychologically) because of it. So many people have come out as self-assterive, unafraid people because of it, and you'll be able to use it in real life, if it ever becomes necessary (god forbid). Growing up, I had to defend myself for real many times, living in a very rough area where getting stabbed for no real reason was quite a feasible possibility.

                          So if you're scared of being looked down on because you lose, you're in the wrong school, with the wrong people. If there's someone in particular who you feel intimidated by, go talk to your sensei about it. If he says you're a "sissy" or anythign like that, just leave, instantly. You have nothing to learn from someone like that.
                          "Be Cool" - Lao Tzu

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                          • #14
                            The two elements necessary for martial arts success are passion and discipline.

                            Students who are disciplined can overcome their physical and mental limitations and achieve more than they ever imagined.

                            To bring out the best in oneself and others, passion is the result of the spirit, intellect, and body working together.

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