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The horror.
Confirmed this morning, by ultrasound. It’s a boy. Which means, because the wife just has to have a little girl, who according to her will have “big boobs and long hair and be absolutely gorgeous”, a cute little creature that she can spend hours and hours and hours dressing and playing with, an addition that I would have to build a new closet for, I have to go through this damn pregnancy shit yet again. More early morning nausea. The totally irrational mood changes. The “oh, you carry this because I’m pregnant” shit. The even worse “Oh you change his diaper because I’m pregnant” shit. And, the unintended weight gain, not her, but me. God knows I have to eat out of sympathy when she gorges. Which is almost on an hourly basis. But, there are advantages to having another little guy in the family; more to play Left 4 Dead with on the computers, and, savings of unknown amounts of hundreds of dollars when the wife can’t buy baby Louis Vuitton purses. Yes, they make those for little girls….
Little guy, code named “Boris 2”, is due May 10, or somewhere thereabouts. Not sure what to name him, but, oh, we’re thinking about, um, “Richard”. Easy to remember, just like the other little guy, and yes, me. By the time I’m done, I’m going to put George Foreman to shame...
Confirmed this morning, by ultrasound. It’s a boy. Which means, because the wife just has to have a little girl, who according to her will have “big boobs and long hair and be absolutely gorgeous”, a cute little creature that she can spend hours and hours and hours dressing and playing with, an addition that I would have to build a new closet for, I have to go through this damn pregnancy shit yet again. More early morning nausea. The totally irrational mood changes. The “oh, you carry this because I’m pregnant” shit. The even worse “Oh you change his diaper because I’m pregnant” shit. And, the unintended weight gain, not her, but me. God knows I have to eat out of sympathy when she gorges. Which is almost on an hourly basis. But, there are advantages to having another little guy in the family; more to play Left 4 Dead with on the computers, and, savings of unknown amounts of hundreds of dollars when the wife can’t buy baby Louis Vuitton purses. Yes, they make those for little girls….
Little guy, code named “Boris 2”, is due May 10, or somewhere thereabouts. Not sure what to name him, but, oh, we’re thinking about, um, “Richard”. Easy to remember, just like the other little guy, and yes, me. By the time I’m done, I’m going to put George Foreman to shame...
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